The Shrimp Is Crying To Be Cooked

THE 30-MINUTE GOURMET

News Paper – Bangalore Times, TOI

Published on - September 3, 1999

 Author - RAJ MADNANI

Shrimp, glorious shrimp! Frozen shrimps have flooded the market. To enjoy them, you must take care to keep them in a frozen state, until they are to be cooked. After buying a pack, you will be giving bacteria formation a free rein if you decide to go shopping, leaving the critters inside your warm car, safe but in a thawing state. Once thawed, never refreeze.

If you decide to just look at shoes while the shrimps wait in the car, chances are they will be thawed and partly cooked by the time you return with the three pairs. That you simply wanted to take a quick look in the shoe shop is psychologically important to you, but absolutely irrelevant In this universe.

You might as well go home and put them in storage. The shrimps in the fridge for all to see, and the shoes on top of your wardrobe so nobody sees them. If you're over forty like me, read this instruction again so you don't hide the shrimp in the wardrobe. Since the shrimp has started thawing, you might as well prepare them for dinner by thawing them fully in the fridge.

The shoes must be hidden from your pre-teen daughter who will say: they are for women over fifty, mom, return them. If your daughter is eighteen she'll say: these are for young girls mom, burn them! Your son will not care unless, depending on his age, you get a free bazooka or free. CD with your purchase. Whatever his age, your husband will never approve: If Imelda Marcos has stopped buying shoes, why can't you? If you make the mistake of saying you just wanted to look, you're dead meat!

Which reminds me of the shrimp. But the cook cries he has already prepared dinner. The shrimp is crying to be cooked. Husband wants to know why you are late, probably suspects you bought a pair of shoes. You panic, wondering why he is suspicious, and blurt out that you bought three pairs only. You liked six, but restrained yourself. Besides, they were on sale, so you actually saved money. Before your husband can say Sister of Imelda Marcos, the phone rings, it's the stock broker.

Your husband's infotech stocks have doubled again, does he want to sell. Your panic attack has subsided, and you unwisely advise your grinning husband to sell 10 shares so the whole family can get thirty pairs of shoes. For each one. Busy smiling and calculating figures, the husband does not hear. Lucky for you. Which reminds me of the thawing shrimp. Duck into the kitchen, and steam the shrimp for five minutes or so. Drain them in cold water, and now

place them, separated, on a plate in the freezer to chill for fifteen minutes. Meanwhile, prepare a cocktail sauce by combining TomChi with mayo (2 to 1 for a zesty flavour, 1 to 1 for a zing) or ketchup with mayo (1 to 1 for a zip). For the novice cooks, zing and zip are lower grades of zest.

In the five minutes left, get yourself and husband a drink. In the two minutes left, change the subject by praising your husband. What made him pick those infotech stocks, how smart! His reply is unimportant, so while he keeps talking in the minute that is left, serve him the cold shrimp with the cocktail sauce. It's true, when husbands speak of their stock market successes, they don't care if somebody is listening. Do not think of mentioning his stocks that have been moved out by the exchange.

I don't know how I got involved in the shoes and stocks business. I wanted to share with you an exciting fiery recipe for cold shrimp to be served as an appetiser, pepper shrimp marinated in beer. Fiery is many grades above zesty. You need more than fifteen minutes to prepare them, so make sure you don't plan these on the same day that you go shopping for shoes or anything else. If you use fresh shrimp, shell and devein them, and simmer them for a few minutes more. Increase the chilly heat if you want. And they make great conversation because of the innovative use of beer in this pub city of ours. Bon Appetit!

PEPPER SHRIMP MARINATED IN BEER

1. Completely cover 400 gms of thawed shrimp with a cup or more of flat beer.

(Keep the beer around for an hour in a glass to remove all the fizz)

2. Add: 1 tablespoon black pepper, crushed 1 tablespoon black salt 3 bay leaves, 1/2 teaspoon Capsico or Tabasco sauce, 1/2 teaspoon red

chilly powder, 1/2 tablespoon crushed red chilly flakes.

3. Mix well and let it all sit around for a half hour.

4. Bring to a boil and simmer for about 7-8 minutes (12-15 minutes

for fresh shrimp)

5. Remove from heat, let it cool

6. Refrigerate for an hour or so, until cold

7. Drain, squeeze lime juice on the shrimp.

8. Serve on ice, on lettuce leaves, or a banana leaf.