SOME MAGIC WITH MUSHROOMS

THE 30-MINUTE GOURMET

News Paper – Bangalore Times, TOI

Published on - August 20, 1999

 Author - RAJ MADNANI

Mushrooms, glorious mushrooms. Today, we -do some magic. We shall make a simple but delicious Italian rice dish: risotto confunghi. Change a few ingredients, and it becomes mushroom pulao, desi style. This is the hallmark of a great cook, one who can change things around before you can say: "dinners served, darling". Which brings us to the main point today. Your husband.

I've received many complaints that husbands don't cook. They also don't do much else, but that's for other professionals to resolve. The wide scope of my professional expertise will provide you with the skills to cook well and also to deal with errant husbands without resorting to any form of violence. Whacking your husband on the back of head with a rolled-up Sunday paper is no longer effective, please note.

Start by understanding his nature. He is a minimalist when it comes to physical activity, has a short attention span (flips channels at 10 per minute), never loses his way - so never asks for directions while driving, reads only sports and comics in the newspaper, claims to know everything specially politics, insists everyone else is always wrong, and what anyone else can do - he can do better. If this sounds approximately on the mark, you know the road is rough ahead.

Choose a day, say Sunday. And the right time, say early afternoon, before his first beer. Pull the plug on the TV so it doesn't work, or hide the remote. Lend all the Sunday papers to your friendly slash nosy neighbour. Husbands can smell a plot when one's being hatched.

He'll get a whiff of your conspiracy (I think I said this already). Before you can make another move, he'll claim he has a headache. Don't take this lying down - push him firmly into the kitchen. When he realises that it is the kitchen and not another room, he'll be relieved, ready to perform. Nicely done.

If this strategy does not work, try guilt. Let him know how much you sweat for him. Can he not just this once, help in the kitchen? Try fear. Suggest going out to an expensive place with your parents or those friends of yours who never pay the bill. Of course, he'll be reluctant. But if you had his help in the kitchen, you could be persuaded to give up this terrific idea, right? Nicely done.

If your husband cannot make the mushroom rice, Indian or Italian, I can understand your disappointment. All is not lost when husbands fail. Before you consider other drastic measures, try changing your perfume, try eating out more often. Heck, try flipping channels with him. Make him his favourite foods, or more of them. Take him to a counsellor. Go to your mothers for a week, longer if you think he'll suffer in your absence. Initiate him with something simple like the mushroom with rice, the Italian way first. Clean and thickly slice the mushrooms, fry in a little oil, until the water is released, in about five minutes. Keep aside. Finely chop the garlic, keep ready. Chop a small onion like you normally would (not too fine, not too coarse) and fry it for 4 5 minutes with the garlic, until the water is released. Keep the fried onions and garlic aside. Make rice preferably a long grain variety, like you normally do, and five minutes before it is ready, add the mushrooms, fried onions and garlic. Add the sauce with all the other seasonings. Add the herbs by crushing them in your fingers. Mix well. Cover, until cooked. Serve hot and fresh. Goes well with any fish or chicken entree.

For the Indian version, add black pepper and full green chillies to the rice when it starts cooking. Do not add the seasonings of the Italian version. Double the onions and garlic. Allow the onions to slightly brown, adding the onions, garlic and mushrooms a few minutes before the rice is cooked. Mushroom pulao will complement any combination of Indian dishes.

 Bon Appetit!

RISOTTO CON FUNGHI

(For 3/4 cup uncooked rice)

200 gms mushrooms (one packet)

1 small onion, chopped

 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped

As needed olive oil, or another light oil.

To taste salt

Seasonings:

2 tsp Worcestershire sauce

1/2 tsp basil, dried

1/2 tsp marjoram, dried

1/4 tsp oregano, dried

1/2 tsp parsley, dried

1/2 tsp bouillon/seasoning (optional)

(This usually contains MSG)